I am no longer unemployed. In fact, I received the gift of employment roughly nine months ago. Unfortunately, that gift has come with a price: my very soul. Let us pause for dramatic reflection and for the love of God, somebody cue the histrionic music! For each day that I sit in that bloody office, each day that I sit in that wretched cubicle, I die just a little bit. Only on the inside however and I cannot decide if that makes it better. I suppose if I were dying on the outside it would be worse; for what on earth would the majority of the male species gaze upon as I stroll throughout the office distributing my twice daily distributions? Did that come off as arrogant? I hope not. Though I will say that I have never received so much attention from the opposite sex anywhere than I have in my nine little months at my current and God-willing, short-lived job.
Bugger; I fear I have made my dissatisfaction with my employment discernible. What shall I do? Find another say you? Easier said than done say I. My trouble is a rather prominent lack of professional experience. Academic experience is something of which I have mastered; in truth, earning a living with the occupational title of “Professional Student,” is something that interests me greatly. Alas, earning a living as a “Professional Student” is not probable and to quote Sexual Harassment Panda (Google it), that does indeed make me a “sad panda.”
Why does my current employment offend me so you ask? Ah, I shall divulge for it is my favorite topic! ßSarcasm…Anyway, for starters, I am grossly underpaid. Now I know what some of you are thinking, “Well aren’t we all?” Not when you have four, count ‘em! FOUR degrees and you earn barely above minimum wage. Gas in one month is nearly half of a paycheck. Lack of professional experience as their excuse; okay, I get that. I did work—but instead of money, I was paid in degrees. One cannot earn four degrees, graduate with high honors, and earn membership in the Golden Key International Honors Society without working. Believe me, I worked. There were numerous sleepless nights spent researching, analyzing, writing and learning. Now, I suppose one could argue that my degrees are worthless, for they are in History and English. Not true! History and English can be translated into numerous fields, including business, but finding those fields in this economy has proven rather difficult. Personally, I think the market is oversaturated with Business degrees. If I am going to pay thousands of dollars for tuition, why should I not study what I love? Besides, it is my dream to attend Durham University, receive two Masters, earn my PhD, and become of Professor of History.
Gripe two: office politics. Twice now I have gotten caught up in office politics, being torn between two managers and the supervisors. I simply do what I am told at this point for my input means nothing. I report to one manager on paper, but in reality report to another for I am now on his or her “team.”
Gripe three: job responsibilities. I refuse to take on the responsibilities of another job title without being paid sufficiently for it and hey, given that title. Now my mother says, “You need do anything you can and learn everything you can so that when you get the promotion, you’re ready. Use the company to your advantage.” How is me doing someone else’s job at the same pay using the company? Would it not be the other way around? Why should I take on more responsibility if I will not be financially reimbursed? Advancement opportunity has finally arisen—stay with me now—I was planning on applying for the position until the supervisors informed me that they felt I was not ready. Their plan: have me perform the job of what would be the promotion without actually receiving it, and simply waiting for the next opening which who knows when that will happen; could be another year from now for all they know. I understand their logic; I would be more “prepared” for the job as it were having been doing it for God knows how long. On the other hand, I never actually wanted the promotion. I was only applying simply for more money and what a sell-out that would make me. I need not refuse their proposal however for the manager of whom I report in reality came to my rescue.
Oy vey. There are others but I grow weary of the griping. Who wants to remain in such a negative space and most of all, who wants to hear about it? Am I right? Let us now focus on the positives: I have a job. A small and laughable paycheck is still better than no paycheck. It also grants me temporary freedom and if you are, dear reader, at all informed on what it is like having an old Greek man as your father, then you are all too aware of what I imply and how precious any freedom is, no matter how fleeting. Finally, I am receiving that long desired professional experience. I know my soul will revitalize with a new company in a different industry. Until then, I shall plow ahead. Here’s to Durham in 2013-ish!
